claire California

don't force people to have children they don't want

my story and my fear


My name is Claire, and I am a 17 year old girl from California. In 1998, I was born to a mother who wanted a child more than anything else and to a father who did whatever he could to make my mother happy, even if it meant having children he wasn’t mentally or emotionally prepared to have. My father was emotionally unavailable, and this took a huge toll on me as a child. I was young and didn’t understand that his absence had everything to do with him and nothing to do with me. Being born to a parent who didn’t want me made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and didn’t deserve love.

However, when I was 13 years old, I was adopted by my stepdad, who had been there for me since my mother remarried when I was 3. He was and is everything you could want in a father - loving, caring, smart, and emotionally available. I am very lucky to have him in my life, and even though I now have two parents that love and want me, the disinterest my biological father showed in me while I was a child has caused me to develop significant emotional issues and a huge fear of abandonment, both of which interfere with my life every day and get in the way of me living the life I want to live. I have firsthand experience of the damage growing up with a parent that does not want you can cause, which is a big part of why it is incredibly important to me that abortion stays legal and the government continues to fund planned parenthood. Of course, I am thankful to be alive and lucky to have had one of my biological parents want me. The effect my biological father on me does not trump my love for my current parents. However, in the case of both parents not wanting a child, forcing them to is absolutely absurd and will create an entire generation of people with psychological issues. Making abortion illegal will ruin both the lives of the parents and their children.