Colton Michigan

No Gun Control

A satire article that talks about the issues on gun control. Also, on why we don't need them.

Dear Next President,

It’s not like we need guns right? Totally was the right answer. It’s not like we need them for protection. No one's out to get us-- no other country plotting our demise. There's no ISIS, or terrorism in general. Our spineless government will keep us safe with their perfect system of registration. I mean come on, look how the city of Chicago is doing, just fantastic! A perfect example of a no gun society. Sure, in the month of August there were 400 shootings, according to the Chicago Tribune. That has nothing to do with the fact that even though they have gun restriction laws in place, they are smuggled in, completely unrelated! The restrictions make it so that no one's allowed to buy guns. It’s not like the lack of guns means that the people can’t defend themselves when they are about to get shot.

Also, it would be so easy to take all the guns from the nation’s 10,208,000 million gun owners. Even if they love their guns, I’m sure they would be glad to give their second amendment rights to the government. No fuss at all. Storing those confiscated guns won’t be a problem either. The 3 million guns, according to NPR , would be stored in very safe places. It’s not like criminals would target the guns so they could get mass amounts of them, and be the only ones with guns. Also, the government can keep us safe with their motto of, “Even if they get to keep their precious guns, we know where they are at.”

Since we have them all registered, we know where all the guns are at. When I was talking to my brother’s girlfriend’s mother, she mentioned that she had an unregistered handgun. The government doesn't know where it’s at, but they know it’s out there, right? They know it was sold, even if they don’t know where it’s at. Even if they don’t, it’s not like criminals are running around with guns the government doesn't know they have.

In all seriousness though, we need guns in the U.S. Our guns allow us to protect ourselves and defend our great nation. Even if you take away our guns, it won’t keep the criminals from having the guns, it will just make the good citizens defenseless. We need our Second Amendment rights.